Storm

It's been awhile. I've been a bit busy with school and stuff. But alas, today's the day for a new blog. ;)

God's been working on my heart a lot these last few weeks. It's interesting how so much can go so crazy and in the midst of that time He just wants to calm me. The storm has gotten rough at times. At times I've even thought that I was being thrown into sea and perhaps I would drown. Yet God didn't let it happen. I clung to Him and when I was too weak to cling to Him, He held me tightly. The storm may bring high waves, it may look like all will be lost at sea, but that's why we trust in God and not ourselves. Really. I could so easily give up, I could just throw it all away and dive into the sea. But what is out there that is worth my time? Nothing. The only thing I have to keep me going is God.

You know the notion of 'giving up' always seems so pretty. We face a struggle in life and say 'I just want to give up, it's so hard.' But I wonder, what is so easy about giving up? Every time I give up, my heart just feels weighted down with thousands and thousands of tonnes of junk. And when I allow God to hold me, then it's like my heart is light. Sure it's hard and the struggle is still hard to defeat, but I don't have the weight in my heart to deal with as well. Giving up doesn't really do anything for me. In fact it just seems to hurt me worse. It is hard. I do agree with that. It's so hard. But why would I give up when I got the best thing going for me?? The God of the universe is rooting me on, and not only that but He's fighting for me. And when I give up, I'm not just giving up on my struggle, I'm giving up on Him. Ultimately that's what it comes down to. I'm just giving up on Him, basically saying He's not able enough to help me through. But He is sooooo able. And the best thing is He's not expecting us to be done with the struggle immediately. He understands how hard it is, He understands that it hurts, and that it's really hard to humble oneself and admit that what we have chosen isn't really the best thing for us. He just keeps pouring His love into the wound, He keeps pouring His love over us, as we continue to allow Him so that we can be the overcomers we are called to be.

I know for me that's what I've really come to discover. I have pride issues, I don't want to humble myself before God and admit that there is an issue that I need His help with. Which is funny because I know I need His help, yet there's still that pride within me. But when I humbled myself the other day, His peace just rushed in over me. I know I can face this storm, because I'm not facing it alone. He is there with me. And He'll hold me through it. He'll calm me in the midst of it. He is able. He is strong enough. And He can carry me through it. I don't have to give up! Because HE. IS. ABLE.

Hide

As a child I always enjoyed playing hide and seek. I always wanted to be the last one to be found, with the coolest hiding spot that no one had ever thought of. But the truth of the matter was, being the youngest in my part of the family, I always ended up copying my older sister's places to hide, and they always found me. Now when my younger siblings came along, we stopped playing hide and seek as much. But we would play it now and then, or at church we would play it as part of a game. And it always got my adrenaline rushing, to hide and not be found, even when they came so close to you but just missed finding you. Hide and seek rocks!!

I think that oftentimes we start hiding in our lives. We learn that if we do certain things, people won't like us, so we won't admit that we like that movie, or that we like that activity, just so we can be liked by others. And we play this game of hiding. But there is no seeking allowed. We don't wait for someone to come seek us, because the truth is we don't want to be found, or we might be judged for the way we are. People might not like us for the truth of who we are. When someone seems to get close to finding the real us, we quickly run away and hide again, in a different spot. And the truth of the matter is, if we're such experts on hiding from people, I'm thinking, we might be hiding from God as well.

But why do we hide from God? Is He not our safe place? Is He not everything we need and more?? Really where can we go that will hide us from God??
"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell; behold You are there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me." Psalm 139:7-10
We can't hide from God. We can try so very hard but we can't. I've been learning to hide in Him.
"Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me under the shadow of Your wings." Psalm 17:8
"Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in You." Psalm 143:9

Why would we not hide in our God that is so far above us, and can do so much more than we ever ask or think of? Why would we not rest in Him when He gives rest to the weary? He gives you strength when you're weary. He pours love into you. He gives you joy evermore.

And as for hiding from people. My thought on that is stolen from what someone has once told me a few times. "We have to learn to not care if they won't accept us." Because truthfully, we live in fear of the past, letting our past hurts affect our future lives. We hide because we were hurt before. But if someone doesn't like something about us, that's for them to worry about. All I need to worry about is me, and hiding myself in God, and not worrying about what others think of me. I am me. And if someone can't accept that, that's okay, that's their problem. If I am hiding in God, and letting God define me, then I really have nothing to worry about with hiding from other people. It really only matters that God accepts me, and He does. He accepts me just for me!
And that's another thought for another blog. ;)