Perfect Love

So the last few weeks have been ones of crazy stress, worry, and all kinds of emotions going rampart within me. All this week I was looking forward to the day when I completed my application, ordered my transcript, got my references all lined up, and this part was over, all the while wishing I had known all this was going to happen and finishing it months ago. I thought that by completing all this the stress would be gone until I got news back as to whether I was accepted, then would begin figuring out all the details of doing distant education courses in the fall, to the move in January, and figuring out all the grimy details of financing.

Last night was the night that I finished all this. I think I told Turtle three times how excited I was to be done, then I'd find something else that needed to be done, but eventually I was settled into my bed, happily watching Alias.
Bedtime rolled around, I shut my window, brushed my teeth, climbed into bed, sighed my sigh of relief and closed my eyes ready for that peaceful sleep that I had been waiting for for a few weeks.

*chuckles* Yea that definitely didn't happen.

The instant my head hit the pillow, my mind began going crazy, thinking "What if I'm not good enough for this college? What if they don't accept me, what will I do next? What if I'm not supposed to be even going into that field of work? Do I even know what I want? Why am I doing this? It's going to cost so much money that I don't have. What am I thinking?" I felt like I was literally going crazy. The thoughts were swirling in my head and I was trying desperately to block them out. I mean I was even lying on my stomach, the posture of real sleep. I don't do any heavy duty thinking when I'm lying on my stomach, that's when I sleep for crying out loud! Anyways, suddenly I heard a still, soft, gentle voice say, "Perfect love casts out all fear."

And so began my thoughts of how I was obviously not operating in His perfect love by allowing these thoughts in. So I said "NO MORE!" to the thoughts, and drifted off into a great sleep! =)

But it doesn't end there. This morning I woke up before my alarm went off. So I laid in bed for awhile. Then decided to go online. While online, I decided to randomly check my email and see what the verse of the day was today. I log in, empty some of my inbox. Then I clicked on the email I wanted, it opened up and the first words I read were: "1 John 4:18, There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
*laughs*

God is sovereign. That's basically what I have to say. He knew that I would need to read that verse TODAY, He knew that I would open my email because I woke up earlier.
I have more to add to perfect love but I must get some work accomplished. You shall hear more later. =)