blah

So I'm in the mood to blog but I got nothing really important to blog so I'm just gonna ramble and you never know something might come out of it. =P

Tonight and tomorrow morning is this conference thing that I'm going to. I'm excited about it. Like REALLY excited about it. I'll be going alone, cuz I'm cool like that and actually I really think that I can almost receive more when I'm all alone. Many people tend to think I'm weird for doing things alone, but whateves. I just don't even care anymore. I'm getting this desperation in my soul. Because I know I really can't go on without God anymore. I've been trying so hard to deal with these hurts on my own, but it's not working out. And I've finally come to the end of my rope. I don't want to deal with them ever, but there is something deeper that screams to let go of them. I don't want to have no room in my heart because I'm holding onto hurts. I know God can use me broken and holding onto my stuff, but I think living the way He has called me to live, in freedom, it's in that place that will be so much more freeing to be used as God wants. Seriously, ack! Why didn't I think of that before? Seriously, there are so many things that I have been held back from because of my stuff, I've been scared to do certain things for all these fears that come from all these hurts that I've been holding onto. Hmmm...yes it's time to let God deal with that. It's time to put it at His feet, let Him deal with it, and rest in my Abba's arms! And to walk in freedom. There is healing for me. There is freedom for me. And by walking in that, I will be living the life God intended me to live, rather than the life that I decided would be safer...because really is it safer?

So I got that conference, I don't know what to expect but I'm open to receiving from God. Tomorrow after the conference I'm going to my friend's house for the afternoon. I miss them. They used to live here and then moved again, so I have hardly seen them. So it'll be exciting to just chill with her and her husband and of course their lovely doggies! woot!! Then tomorrow night I'm gonna go to a different conference. Just for the night, it's been going on the whole week but I'm finally going to go. So that will be exciting. Then the rest of the weekend will probably be focused on getting some sort of order. It's starting to look like a lovely little hurricane touched down, and I'm supposed to be moving soon. =\

Wow that was random. =\ lovely.